A Letter To My Daughter

One night seven years ago, I was filled with certain fatherly thoughts. I have always wanted to have a daughter but being single and still searching I decided to pen a letter to my unborn daughter - I mean -  that was the closest I could get to being a father. Six years on, after two wonderful boys, I got meet my cute little girl. And as she turns one, I remembered this post buried somewhere in my blog. She's such a blessing!

Dear daughter, 

As I look down on this blank, unlined paper waiting to get inscribed with ink, I could imagine an angelic face on the brink of making a transition into a world of many wonders. I want you to know that you have been loved already.

I could only imagine what it’s like over there on the other side, so I think you should consider it a fatherly advice and hold on to as much memory as you could while crossing over to this journey full of treachery and pain, hopelessness, and yet permeated with a lot of joy, and I hope you will come to add to its beauty.

It is a world of many influences. A world of riches and poverty, highs and lows, wisdom and folly, fame and shame: a world of immense prejudice and little justice. But it is also a world where you can be anything you want to be, if you don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! You are a woman, yes? The world expects a lot from your kind yet! So you are also awaited.

I want you to know you can do all that without letting your shoulders fall for once. I see you come with honor and dignity, and believe me, daughter; you can walk through all trials with dignity! And whenever you fail, I want you to smile and go to sleep but wake up the next morning and continue wherever you stopped. I’ve failed many and you will find that I’m not a quitter. 

Sex! What about it? Daughter, you are yet to know pain and pleasure but beyond every pleasure you will ever taste is the bliss of sex. Though short-lived it, could drive any human beyond their point of reason, and it has its many dangers! There are diseases of death, unwanted pregnancy and shattering disillusionment that it could bring if not done in the right context. My daughter, you must know there is a time for everything, and sex is best in its right time – you must listen to your mother.

For every child, growing up can be a lot of fun, and I am willing to be there and make it even more pleasant just for you. You should know that this time will also have its challenges on both sides, because as we get older, your mother and I, we are bound to hold rather tightly to our hopes and fears, and a lot of the times, too, we will want them to fashion your life.

I will want you to be kind enough to let us know when you find a better path to take, or a dream you will want to bring into being.

There will also come a time when you will find your mum and I rather old fashioned and unreasonable and will want to rebel against everything we stand for; I want you to know that we will understand those teenage tendencies because we have been there before, too. It is a stage, and therefore will pass as it came and all you will need to do is beware of it, and wisdom will be by you.

 And if the love we give gets choking and restrictive, I want you to understand, there can be nothing more difficult and even scarier, for a parent, than to see their child grow out of their care. It is the fear of letting go, and dear daughter, I want you to understand and be considerate if you never grow in our eyes.  

As I look forward to embracing you and guiding you through the many complexities of this life, I regret to let know you that I will not always keep you as mine is to watch you grow and let you go. You will also come to make hard choices, and some will keep you far away from people that love you the most. This is because life is like that when destiny calls.

But there will be another man, whose heart will be made yours, but before then, I assure you, there will be a lot of wolves with the right tongues, and it is part of our responsibilities to help you see that they are driven into the woods. All you will do is remember the good counsels you’ll get and keep them with you.

Before I put down my pen tonight, I want you to know how pleasing it would be to feel your infant breath on my face and to hear you call me papa, dada… whatever word your tongue can form just for me.

Oh – it also just occurred to me that I haven’t met your mum yet. Or maybe I have and don’t realize it yet. I can hear you giggling. Anyway, when you are here, you will see things like that happen a lot (smile).

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